101 letters to me : Agony

Dear you,

Yes you my dear, it’s Saturday evening and you are home alone listening ‘I did it my way’ Frank Sinatra, writing this letter to yourself. Is it antagonizing? If yes, at first  then get up and think what are the possibilities to get rid of this agony? Go out, where? Some bar have some drinks, call a friend? Haha that’s not you. i know it’s rather hard to think straight while undergoing this emotional turmoil. But you know what, you have just learned something about yourself. How much you love to be surrounded with people. And somewhere in that crowd you forgot what you actually are, how solitary will define you, describe you, on which parameters. There is no one to praise you, or remind you or be an ear to listen your stories. You don’t have to click your best picture in your best dress to get reorganization! You earned a chance to be yourself, to understand what it’s like to be genuine, honest to yourself,  You might be alone but you know you are not lonely, this is the only place and time where you can be whatever you want, you can sing in most possible distorted version of song, you can walk in your pajamas, eat whatever you have in your fridge, watch whatever you feel like, read whatever in your hand, Or just write, keep writing. Till all the agony flows on your computer screen in form of irritation, no matter if anyone reads it, you write for yourself. Help yourself by doing which let you face the agony nor something which suppresses it. You might be alone, because you know it’s relatively hard to make friends as you grow old and harder if old friends are thousand miles away. Remember life doesn’t get any harder it’s you who take things way to serious in name of responsibilities. Make yourself content with reading, writing, gardening, music, options are various but don’t just sit and complain. Ain’t worth a dime.

With love

Your courageous self xx


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