30 and turning back

In May I will turn 30. Many people are saying, it’s a magical age/year of whatsoever. But here is my story: I studied which I didn’t like much, it was confusing in 20s. I wanted to work or say earn money as soon as possible. Travel like most of the people aim to as the highest level of achievement. I am not here against travelling, but hey this is not what I aimed for. But what I aimed for I didn’t know either. So, I travelled couple of continents (few countries) I still couldn’t figure out, “what I wanted to figure out”.

I could not stand by the concept of working somewhere or something I have no interest. Keep changing jobs, cities, countries, still a big question mark. In the meantime the good thing happened I met my husband (that’s a different story, some other day)

It took a while, years actually since I moved to Netherlands, I had plenty of time to think, read, write and realize. Do I keep moving like this because I am in late 20′(years back) and there is no turning back?? At a point I was kind a happy with my part-time job, new friends, new place, etc.,

Until one day when I could not reply a simple question, what are your plans now? I was blank, I did not know. And that was the moment of denying that I am too old to restart. I said to myself if a professional success so much important, then I want to do something which I enjoy, a chance to solve problems, learn new things instead of just a social status to fit in a monetary race, a competition of supremacy. The list is endless.

I enrolled myself to a language school to learn Dutch language, there I met new people, new ideas and finally after a lot of brain storming and research I decided to study Brain and cognitive science at university of Amsterdam. Thus, I applied there for September 2016 session, now waiting for final decision that will be made by the end of June. Fingers crossed.

Now, all of my friends are busy with motherhood, parenting, schooling for their kids and here I am going back to start.

PS: I read somewhere, ‘life starts after 40 until then it’s just a research.’ I am still not too late.





The unfinished business

After a hiatus of 5 months, here I am again on my blog. The motto is “to finish what I’ve started”.

The list is pretty long of unfinished stuff(business, I would like to name).

First of all read all books, which I’ve started  or bought.

And I am going to begin with Sapiens by  Yuval Harari.sapiens

I owe to myself


Nothing yet apparent

seems an usual outset,

Unless my anticipation

differs from yesterday.

I am no one to blame

nor put in castigation,

Rather an endeavor

in persuasion to summon,

Where you can stand

and feel the chaos,

Does your heart weep too,

or is barren as desert?

Your eyes are closed

with call of humanity,

I am in awe again

how your soul astride

by greed, poverty and war?

Your combat of survival

not your alone,

Take charge of your future

which belongs to your deed,

you’ve been pretending,

deaf all along, 

like your senses have no life,

You felt so comfortable in denial

but how you forget,

you owe to yourself,

better place on earth,

better life for all.

© ikbenmanisha25

(PC: Google Image)

We made promise


 When all of them came together,

started admiring, wondering,

all  about house with big garden

 some gave  tips to buy new car,

nice vacation other side of world.

But luckily  for us we are alive,

not blinded, be-fooled 

well aware of root cause,

what happens meanwhile? 

when they busy making merry,

heart cries over for ignorant minds,

we fight over disagreement of wise

rather than a fancy glass table.

Our plan based on true nature of earth,

Instead to look platinum ring,

Thus I know why our love is stronger,

as we share same dream

to make world a better place.

© ikbenmanisha25

(PC: Google image)


My education, to pay off my debts.

Everybody has skill to do things creatively and make a difference but it’s been tagged as high risk. Wonder why? What this risk stands for? Is it actually threatening your life or your loved ones? No, in reality all the risks associated with monetary loss! Sad but true and that is how the entire social system works. You are successful with huge wealthy gain or a failure with loss of money.

I confronted with this concept of Monetary regulations only when I realised why can’t I be happy with my current job profile, simple reason the benefits I get in return are nothing to do with my personal choice or growth, everything is related if I make good money, to pay off debts??

That is what we have been taught, you become a doctor, engineer or architect ect, main motive behind it which offers best pay grade irrespective the main duty comes along the particular designation.

According to census 2011, literacy rate in India is 74.04% now do not get confuse that this percentage of people are literally literate, if only they can write and spell their names correctly they are termed as literate.

So when it comes to their own choice they cannot defend themselves due to lack of logical plethora which is very important to beat others in place to stand right.

And these are the people who believe that poverty is part of life just because they do not have enough education to get high paying job and support their family, so be happy poor. They do not think why this economy is regulating them, even when they have talents and resources.

Let’s have a look on a simple example of farmers across India, they have big agricultural lands, climate and other resources but instead of good crops there are more death, same reason at the end of the season they do not have enough money to pay off debts.


Students on other hand study so hard all their life to get a dream job, most of the time it’s their parents dream and then start paying your education loan as soon as you get a job. What is a point of this education and job which gives you debts more than a real knowledge. And the banks I call them regulators of society comes in picture with high interest rate, varies from 3.5 to 11.75% depending on your education and bank you are dealing with.

Now in series of how education is related to pay off debts my recent encounter of my credit card bill, I took a credit card as it was easy to get since I had a nice paying job in India to keep in mind I have a ‘good education’  so after losing my job shouldn’t be I entitled off for any debts??

No that is not a scenario, the agents from credit card company will call me 10 times a day, if I tell them I do not have a source of income to pay off debts, it does not matter to them. Even if they issued me credit card on basis of my previous job title. Even after strict regulation of central bank the credit card companies do what they want.


The irony is same time I get bulk of mails for new credit card.

So where I stand? I have to get a job and pay off debts, that’s all we do.  And my education going to help me to find a nice paying job.

On my daily conversation when I ask my friends so what’s new in life? I usually get upset and irritated with almost same replies, ‘just office and home’ or ‘new job’ or ‘job training’. Ok then why the hell do you complain about things in life when this is new in your life.

We all are so blinded by this monetary based system that we hardly take time to analyse that this is the root  of all problems.

What a five year old will learn when only thing is brainwashed to him is higher your education will turn out high- grade job, thus you are rich and successful. This is a definition a child learns about society and education.

And when we turn 25, few rich and successful but mostly beating bush around to justify their education by earning money. A friend of mine software engineer by education but could not get a job of software engineer, hence working as sales profile just because it is earning lot of money.  And the company hired him, also looking for person with professional education irrelevant to the job profile as long as he/she can sell.

And I really work to change the things which seems wrong to me not just preach and leave it as it was.