I need to learn,

learn to appreciate,

appreciate the life,

life which got me you.





30 and turning back

In May I will turn 30. Many people are saying, it’s a magical age/year of whatsoever. But here is my story: I studied which I didn’t like much, it was confusing in 20s. I wanted to work or say earn money as soon as possible. Travel like most of the people aim to as the highest level of achievement. I am not here against travelling, but hey this is not what I aimed for. But what I aimed for I didn’t know either. So, I travelled couple of continents (few countries) I still couldn’t figure out, “what I wanted to figure out”.

I could not stand by the concept of working somewhere or something I have no interest. Keep changing jobs, cities, countries, still a big question mark. In the meantime the good thing happened I met my husband (that’s a different story, some other day)

It took a while, years actually since I moved to Netherlands, I had plenty of time to think, read, write and realize. Do I keep moving like this because I am in late 20′(years back) and there is no turning back?? At a point I was kind a happy with my part-time job, new friends, new place, etc.,

Until one day when I could not reply a simple question, what are your plans now? I was blank, I did not know. And that was the moment of denying that I am too old to restart. I said to myself if a professional success so much important, then I want to do something which I enjoy, a chance to solve problems, learn new things instead of just a social status to fit in a monetary race, a competition of supremacy. The list is endless.

I enrolled myself to a language school to learn Dutch language, there I met new people, new ideas and finally after a lot of brain storming and research I decided to study Brain and cognitive science at university of Amsterdam. Thus, I applied there for September 2016 session, now waiting for final decision that will be made by the end of June. Fingers crossed.

Now, all of my friends are busy with motherhood, parenting, schooling for their kids and here I am going back to start.

PS: I read somewhere, ‘life starts after 40 until then it’s just a research.’ I am still not too late.





Winter rain

Water drops on my shiny window glass, sounds like a poetry but it’s not.

After publishing my first (might be last) poetry book I realise that I am not so good at it. But hey anyways, let’s move on.

So after dating almost 6 years now we are married. The only change is my surname( I  kind a like my husband’s surname so much thus I opted for it). Now the funny thing is a friend of mine asked, ‘so how’s married life going?’ Same as before I answered. She said, oh do some changes, for instance surprise him with dinner or so on. I asked, why? She replied, oh it will feel good.

I couldn’t stop laughing. Oh man I feel good most of the time. This surprise dinner might be so much work to make me feel miserable.

La de freaking da.



A walk through Indian streets 1


Blue, yellow, green, red as it’s like light split into it’s fragments of colors while passing through these streets in India, one of many things which I miss since I am away from India are these  streets, people walking on these streets, the sound( you might call it noise)  so be it streets of Lucknow where traffic crosses it’s own rule, cows have there own way to pass by, honking cars, screaming children, if you give it a moment and stand aside you will realize it ain’t a chaos it’s a reminder of life, life which is associated with sound and colors and smell. You see many expression within a snap, where else you can find this variety of emotions except the streets of India, while talking about Lucknow I must mention this is where my parents live as far I remember I started my life there after we moved to different cities. And now back to the circle they are here again. Lucknow, has it’s specialty in terms of street I say, old Mughal (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mughal_Empire)  architecture is still alive and honoring the city with it’s eatery and culture in Lucknow, the street which I particularly picked today is Aminabad, old style market, no supermarket in this street, which is also called as Bazaar, except Thursday Aminabad is always busy with garment shops, food shops, cosmetics, electronics, you just name it.

The color which is prominent in this main street of Aminabad and sub streets is pale yellow reminds me of some old person who is trying to mingle with modern Lucknow yet keeping it originality, some really confined sub streets flooded with jewelry shops is one of many reasons you will see large number of women walking by.


To me these streets are witness of daily lives coming across sympathy, dilemma, ecstasy, curiosity, a trunk full of emotion can be seen here, people rushing, smiling, laughing, anxious, all at one place and the street absorbs all through the day and at night it goes to sleep with an exciting new day tomorrow.


P.S. next street soon.