You did it again…dragged me down
where I disgust with my own behavior
Though promised myself wouldn’t let this happen
but again in your presence my heart sinks
I am drowning in agony pain of lonesome projected there
and you succeeded with your envy.
Yes you my dear, it’s Saturday evening and you are home alone listening ‘I did it my way’ Frank Sinatra, writing this letter to yourself. Is it antagonizing? If yes, at first then get up and think what are the possibilities to get rid of this agony? Go out, where? Some bar have some drinks, call a friend? Haha that’s not you. i know it’s rather hard to think straight while undergoing this emotional turmoil. But you know what, you have just learned something about yourself. How much you love to be surrounded with people. And somewhere in that crowd you forgot what you actually are, how solitary will define you, describe you, on which parameters. There is no one to praise you, or remind you or be an ear to listen your stories. You don’t have to click your best picture in your best dress to get reorganization! You earned a chance to be yourself, to understand what it’s like to be genuine, honest to yourself, You might be alone but you know you are not lonely, this is the only place and time where you can be whatever you want, you can sing in most possible distorted version of song, you can walk in your pajamas, eat whatever you have in your fridge, watch whatever you feel like, read whatever in your hand, Or just write, keep writing. Till all the agony flows on your computer screen in form of irritation, no matter if anyone reads it, you write for yourself. Help yourself by doing which let you face the agony nor something which suppresses it. You might be alone, because you know it’s relatively hard to make friends as you grow old and harder if old friends are thousand miles away. Remember life doesn’t get any harder it’s you who take things way to serious in name of responsibilities. Make yourself content with reading, writing, gardening, music, options are various but don’t just sit and complain. Ain’t worth a dime.
Your courageous self xx
“Nobody will hand you over the second chance, you have to earn it.”
You made impulsive decisions 10 years back, you did things which felt comfortable to you irrespective of their anticipation. But I am proud at you, you did what you wanted to do so no regrets. Since you got a second chance in life or shall I say you worked for it. Make the best of it, shape your life so that you wouldn’t need any other chances. Now follow the direction where head and heart in synchronization, you are not suppose to leave either in abandonment. Those who keep advocating ‘follow your heart’ have no idea what it likes when in the end your head makes a joke out of your life. My dear you’ve learned, life is a process which includes choices, decisions, filtering the clutter, prioritizing the satisfaction over comfort, hold your ground be reasonable, make mistakes but be sure to learn from them. Those lessons will ultimately lead you towards ‘second chance’ when there would be no more confusion, you will be focused enough to get where you aim to be.
Find the opportunity or feel the moment when your head and heart in sync, bang on. This is it. Work for it.
P.S: Keep smiling, you are beautiful that way.
one of the most magical experience is witnessing seed germination.
You seems pretty well to me, so what you miss past few weeks some new photographs from ‘friends’ about their trip, dinner, wedding,etc or few status updates, may be copy pasted Leo Tolstoy or demolished version of Mark Twain or could be simple touchy feelings,’bought new shoes’ ‘yummy dinner’ ‘flight delayed’ ‘watching movie’ well this overwhelming emotional torture is never ending.
Let’s talk about what new things you’ve experienced, couple of days back you witnessed a tiny root in your avocado pit which you placed in a water filled jar with help of toothpick, wasn’t it exhilarating? Your first own plantation from scrap. And today morning was double bonanza to see macroscopic thyme petals. It gives a hope of life, changes, start and moreover happiness, a happiness within yourself, happiness directly connected with nature. An encouragement to keep moving, nourish your brain so that it can bloom. it will be a gradual process in the direction of self discovery. But hey be hopeful and do more gardening.
With warm regards,
“It’s been a month there is no action from you on Facebook, checked your number again in my phone-book but not able to send you any text. At first it made me worry about your well being still I didn’t bother to send you an email, it’s so old fashioned and who calls now a days, so hey if you are not whatsapping, sharing status actually you don’t count.”
That’s what I thought, after a month of detachment from social media. you might feel lonely at times as virtually you have no one to talk, but literally you have whole world. Take this is an opportunity to dig in new subjects, make new friends, friends of different age, different social background, friends who share same initial, friend who fond of computer gaming, friend who hate reading, friend who is multilingual. Develop a hobby, relive your dream or just take a step forward towards a better version of yourself.
Live, smile, love without complaining.
So when I abstain myself from worldly affair
I realized a self of mine blooming again
without a consent of being liked
just blossoming inside out
day by day everyday.